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An X-Files Christmas Medical Terms |
East Asian Names Van Gogh's Family Tree  |
| Mulder: We're too late. It's already been here. |
| Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing. |
| Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into some sort of shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. |
| Scully: You really think someone's been here? |
| Mulder: Someone or some THING. |
| Scully: Mulder, over here -- it's fruitcake. |
| Mulder: Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal. |
| Scully: It's O.K. There's a note attached: "Gonna find out who's naughty and nice." |
| Mulder: It's judging them, Scully. It's making a list. |
| Scully: Who? What are you talking about? |
| Mulder: Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants. Once each year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish its disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite. |
| Scully: But that's legend, Mulder -- a story told by parents to frighten children. Surely, you don't believe it? |
| Mulder: Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out the bite marks on this gingerbread man. Whatever tore through this plate of cookies was massive -- and in a hurry. |
| Scully: It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder, this milk glass has been completely drained. |
| Mulder: It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse. |
| Scully: But why would they leave it milk and cookies? |
| Mulder: Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its wilding. |
| Scully: But if this thing does exist, how did it get in? The doors and windows were locked. There's no sign of forced entry. |
| Mulder: Unless I miss my guess, it came through the fireplace. |
| Scully: Wait a minute, Mulder. If you are saying some huge creature landed on the roof and came down the chimney, you're crazy. The flue is barely six inches wide. Nothing could get through there. |
| Mulder: But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions. |
| Scully: You mean, like a bowl full of jelly? |
| Mulder: Exactly. Scully, I've never told anyone this, but when I was a child my home was visited. I saw the creature. It had long white strips of fur surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red and white. I'll never forget the horror. I turned away, and when looked back it had somehow taken on the facial features of my father. |
| Scully: Impossible. |
| Mulder: I know what I saw. And that night it read my mind. It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. IT KNEW I WANTED A MR. POTATO HEAD. |
| Scully: I'm sorry, Mulder, but you're asking me to disregard the laws of physics. You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys. Listen to what you are saying. Do you understand the repercussions? If this gets out, they'll close the X-files. |
| Mulder: Scully, listen to me: It knows when you are sleeping. It knows when you're awake. |
| Scully: But we have no proof. |
| Mulder: Last year, on this exact date, S.E.T.I. radio telescopes detected bogeys in the airspace over twenty-seven states. The White House ordered a Condition Red. |
| Scully: But that was a meteor shower. |
| Mulder: Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian reindeer vanished from the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Nobody - not even the zookeeper - was told about it. The government doesn't want people to know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this thing is proved to exist, then the public would stop spending half its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy. Retail markets will collapse. Scully, they cannot let the world believe this creature lives. There's too much at stake. They'll do whatever it takes to insure another silent night. |
| Scully: Mulder, I -- |
| Mulder: Sh-h-h! Do you hear what I hear? |
| Scully: On the roof. It sounds like . . . a clatter. |
| Mulder: The truth is up there. Let's see what's the matter. |
Artery ------------- The study of paintings Bacteria ----------- Back door to the cafeteria Barium ------------- What you do when CPR fails Benign ------------- What you be after you be eight Bowel -------------- A letter like A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y Caesarean Section -- A neighborhood near Rome Cat Scan ----------- Searching for kitty Cat Scan ----------- What dogs do when they enter your yard Cauterize ---------- Made eye contact with the nurse Colic -------------- A sheep Dog Coma --------------- A punctuation mark Congenital --------- Friendly D&C ---------------- Where Washington is located Dilate ------------- To live long Enema -------------- Not a friend GI Series ---------- Baseball between teams of soldiers Grippe ------------- A duitcase Hangnail ----------- A coat hook Impotent ----------- Distinguished, well known labor Pain --------- Getting hurt at work Medical Staff ------ A doctor's cane Morbid ------------- A higher offer Nitrate ------------ Cheaper than the day rate Node --------------- Was aware of Outpatient --------- A person who has fainted Pelvis ------------- Cousin to Elvis Post-operative ----- A letter carrier Protein ------------ In favor of young people Recovery Room ------ Where you have your upholstery done Rectum ------------- Darn near killed him Rheumatic Fever ---- Amorous feeling Secretion ---------- Hiding anything Seizure ------------ A Roman emperor Tablet ------------- A small table Terminal Illness --- Sick at the airport Tibia -------------- North African country Tumor -------------- An extra pair Urine -------------- Opposite of you're out Varicose Veins ----- Veins which are very close together
Wa Shing Kah ------- Cleaning an automobile Wai So Dim --------- Are you trying to save electricity? Wai U Shao Ting ---- There is no reason to raise your voice Ai Bang Mai Ne ----- I bumped into the coffee table Chin Tu Fat -------- You need a face lift Dung On Mai Shu ---- I stepped in $#%! Dum Gai ------------ A stupid person Gun Pao Der -------- An ancient Chinese invention Hu Flung Dung ------ Which one of you fertilized the field? Hu Yu Hai Ding ----- We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive Jan Ne Ka Sun ------ A former late night talk show host Kum Hia ------------ Approach me Lao Ze Sho --------- Gilligan's Island Lao Zi ------------- Not very good Lin Ching ---------- An illegal execution Moon Lan Ding ------ A great achievement of the American space program Ne Ahn ------------- A lighting fixture used in advertising signs Shai Gai ----------- A bashful person Tai Ne Bae Be ------ A premature infant Tai Ne Po Ne ------- A small horse Tai Ne Ba Bol ------ A Don Ho song (see "Yu Mai Te Tan", below) Ten Ding Ba -------- Serving drinks to people Wan Bum Lung ------- A person with T.B. or Cancer Yu Mai Te Tan ------ Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store: Stopn Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white: Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois: Chica Gogh His magician uncle: Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin: Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother: Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach: Wellsfar Gogh The constipated uncle: Can't Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt: Tan Gogh the bird lover uncle: Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh The fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking: Wayto Gogh The little bouncy nephew: Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco: Go Gogh His Italian uncle: Day Gogh And his niece who travels the country in a van: Winnie Bay Gogh